What is interrupting?

Interrupting is not speaking louder than the another person for a brief moment.​

Interrupting is not speaking louder to change the topic or reflecting back so they can continue to talk.

Interrupting = sign to stop talking

In many cultures interrupting is not acceptable/connecting – considered "not polite", "not a good person", “unsocial behavior”

Eg: speaking louder to talk about myself and my experience

Eg: speaking louder about a topic I want to talk about

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Speaking louder than someone is often not consensual = violent

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Self-connect before interrupting

What is my need behind wanting to interrupt - why am I interrupting?​

Typical needs:

• Understanding/Clarity (feeling confused/lost)
  Eg: "Can I pause you for a moment? I'm feeling lost because I'm needing clarity."

• Contribution (feeling excitement)
  Eg: "Can I jump in? I'm excited and wanting to contribute before I forget."

• Efficiency (feeling anxious)
  Eg: "If its OK to interrupt, I was wondering if we could focus on the original question and come back to this after if we have time"

• Safety (feeling fear/worry)
  Eg: "Would it be ok to take a moment and slow things down? I would like to make check how this is landing with some of us"
   

Interrupting can bring benefit and meet needs

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How to interrupt in a connecting way

• Connect to the intention/reason/need behind the interruption

• Remember that only I can make sure that my needs are met

• Acknowledge the interruption

• Give warning if possible, prepare the person that you will need to interrupt

• Try not to judge the other person

• Express sadness/regret for the interruption (I'm sorry to interrupt, I wish we could continue this topic)

• Interrupt early to avoid building resentment – suppressing myself can turn into a less regulated interruption

• Reflect before redirecting - A brief reflection can soften the interruption.
  Eg: "So you're feeling frustrated about the project…" OR "I hear that this has been really stressful..."
  Then: "Can I pause you there? I'd like to respond to that.